Posts by Doubting Bro

61

For Active JW Men: Ideas on Awakening Your JW Spouse (Long post)

by Open mind in

jw
friends

disclaimer: your mileage may vary.

if you are a married, "active, in good standing" (tm), jw male who has recently discovered that the .

watchtower is not what it claims to be, this thread is for you.

Doubting Bro

But I noticed the distant look in her eyes, like saying “I agree with you…but where else can we go?”.

Yup and that's always been the tough one to overcome. Also, the fact that many born-in JWs (like me and my wife) look at being JW not so much as a religion but as part of our social heritage. Much of the family on both sides are JW, many "friends", etc. There's the tradition of not celebrating holidays, birthdays and the various workarounds so that you do have celebrations with your family. Of course, there's the shunning which is really the glue that holds the whole thing together. If they dropped shunning, I would guess a good sized number would leave.

I've been in limbo for several years now not knowing which way to go. Part of me wants to take OTWOs route and let the chips fall, part wants to unring the bell, and part has sort of given up on everything.

33

Assembly Parts NEVER made sense to me....!!!!

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

this is and always has been one of my biggest gripes: assembly parts/experiences.

not 1....ever......e-v-e-r was even remotely relatable to me.

now i have traveled all over the place (and to other countries) and i have sat amongst rich and poor jws, suburbanites and urbanites, siddity folks and straight 'hood'.....and not 1 assembly experience made me sit up in my seat and say "wow - that's just like me!".

Doubting Bro

Of course, many of these assembly parts are embellished to make them more "encouraging". I was stunned the first time I had the "privilege" of conducting one of these parts (sort of a entry level part for folks trying to climb up the ladder to DC parts). First, the POs (COBOE now) from the other congregations I called blew me off when I asked if they knew anyone with the type of experience I was looking for. Then, when I told the CO, his response was to find someone who sort of fit the experience and then "work with them" to make it fit. I responded that I thought it was a little dishonest and said that he was confident that somewhere in the circuit, the actual experience had taken place and that many were shy. So, he said I could think of it as a demonstration of what could happen as opposed to an actual experience. Of course, they are always presented as actual experiences.

babygirl30 - seriously your experience would actually be more "encouraging" (sorry, it creeps me out typing that) to the average rank & file than some of these overly hyped ones. You are dead on about the sports scholarships! I've heard those stories too and agree that is complete BS.

Usually these "scholarship" offers are either 1) kids like babygirl30 who had every intention of going to school but got talked out of it at the last minute or 2) aren't real offers but merely suggestions from guidance consoler that you may qualify if you apply. Usually it's #2.

61

For Active JW Men: Ideas on Awakening Your JW Spouse (Long post)

by Open mind in

jw
friends

disclaimer: your mileage may vary.

if you are a married, "active, in good standing" (tm), jw male who has recently discovered that the .

watchtower is not what it claims to be, this thread is for you.

Doubting Bro

OM - thanks so much for sharing. You've inspired me to be a little more open with my wife. I've just avoided JW discussions for quite a while now because I was afraid of what may happen.

Terrific advice. I have a feeling that folks liked you being an elder.

8

New From HAPPYDUB Inc: The "Between-Doors-Buddy"

by Rumspringa in

over on jwr, i'm known as nightgoat.

this is my first post on jwnet as rumspringa .thought i'd take some shots @ the org from your corner of the pool.. a new site "the laughing apostate" is soon to be up that specialize's in anti-dub humour for those that have been out for awhile & whose scar tissue won't mind some sick n' twisted org-bashing.. .

pioneers!!!.

Doubting Bro

That was great

13

"Bearing Thorough Witness" book and Jason David BeDuhn quotes

by sd-7 in

the beduhn book, truth in translation, finally arrived today at the office.

here's a comparison with what the faithful slave says and not even the half of what beduhn says:.

bearing thorough witness about god's kingdom, box on page 105:.

Doubting Bro

Interesting but not surprising. Thanks for supplying the reference.

110

wife took it pretty well i guess...it's over...

by oompa in

jw
friends

i guess it only took three years, but they were hell in so many ways for both of us...she was not happy and lived in denial as much as possible...i was not happy and lived in a bottle as much as possible and glad that is over for me....but it was one of the saddest things i have ever experienced in my life....as was the visit to my parents before i told her....but yes...she said she kind of expected it...was thinking something was going to happen soon as she noticed i had more and more trouble saying i love you back to her when she said it on the phone at the end of goodbyes...and when i was leaving the house...i had noticed it for over a year and it was killing me..... i told her how sorry i was for changing so much again....and that she still walks on water...and is a great person and so pretty....and that she will be ok because she was happy single before me for many years and had all she needs for that again...her closeness to jehovah and her freinds in the congregation...she is very close to both and will be ok i hope...it was very surreal....very calm...very sad.

my bitterness and disdain for wt rules came through when talking to my parents and i was very open about how i feel as to their upcoming shunning of me, and how it feels to my son since he was just 17....and how the fear of losing them had kept me trying in my marriage for the past few years...dad was firm in his position of future action....mom said they will still always love me...and will still talk to me until i get dfd.....oh how this hurts.....dad said there is a name for people who only live for themselves and deny god but could not think of what it was....i told him i was not living just for myself...that i am a good person and there are values from him and the bible i hope i always have....i cry so hard as i type this and tell you just so you can know how painful this is....i told him i so loved the rule of treating others how you want to be treated and have always done that...even allowing myself to be wronged on so many occasions to keep peace....... he said that was a good rule....i agreed and said it was a big one too....and that while i could do it...treat him the way i would like to be treated...he would not be able to!.......left as i became emotional...big hug from mom, but i just barely put an arm on dad............oompa.

Doubting Bro

Just wanted to add my best wishes. So sorry it ended up this way but things will get better.

80

To Current and Former Elders

by Styxx in

i wanted to say a few things to current and former elders.

it was really a post by alltimejeff on 10/1/2009 that got me thinking about this and i address a few things that he says here.

but i dont want to single him out because i really think that he is typical of many, and he did in fact apologize for his actions at the end of his post.

Doubting Bro

No leadership, no wisdom, just a channel available to the GB to control, manipulate, and guilt people into staying.

And that's exactly what they want. They don't care about the flock or any individual JW. They don't care about the elders they have that are trying to be sheppards, trying to provide support the folks that they think God has entrusted to them. The GB cares about control and money. It didn't take long for me to figure that out. It did take much longer to realize that reform was not possible.

I always got the sense that the GB really didn't like the elder arrangement and COs in particular REALLY don't like most of the local elders. But, as you pointed out, they have to have them to keep control.

15

WHY DO ELDERS LABEL THOSE EXPOSING ERROR AS APOSTATES?

by Fernando in

first topic posted - sorry if it is a bit too long.. why do elders accept this absurd teaching of demons: "anyone rejecting what is not of god, is rejecting god"???.

evidence that these elders - not their victims - are apostates (wolves, weeds, the man of lawlessness, the antichrist, practicers of spiritism).

having gone through extreme adversity and consequently deep spiritual waters our family has come to understand apostasy to fundamentally mean the following:.

Doubting Bro

Because its easier to attack the person than to attack the problem.

80

To Current and Former Elders

by Styxx in

i wanted to say a few things to current and former elders.

it was really a post by alltimejeff on 10/1/2009 that got me thinking about this and i address a few things that he says here.

but i dont want to single him out because i really think that he is typical of many, and he did in fact apologize for his actions at the end of his post.

Doubting Bro

Styxx,

Really appreacite your sweaping generalizations and judgement. As others have stated, when you are a born-in male, you are told your entire life that Jehovah wants you to be an elder. I can't tell you how many times as a kid hearing in meetings the point that every male should be holding this out as a goal. It's not so much ambition as it is wanting to be used by God.

How can being told that holy spirit picked you NOT go to your head a little? If you're a true believer, then you accept that you were chosen directly by Jesus to take care of his flock. That's what I believed and I'm sure the others felt the same way.

You need a certain amount of ambition to get anywhere in life. I took being made an elder as validation of my previous hard work. I tried to made a difference. I certainly was a jerk at times and was judgmental. I realize now that it was because of my cult training, not because of my true personality.

Remember that power corrupts. I've seen it all too often. The organizational structure is condusive to pushing those with the biggest egos to the top.

In the immortal words of Ice T - don't hate the playa, hate the game.

30

Re-cap of my wife's awakening last week.

by Open mind in

jw
friends

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/experiences/176622/1/update-from-open-mind.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/members/private/177326/1/point-of-no-return-had-the-f-d-slave-talk-with-my-wife.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/members/private/178025/1/my-jw-wife-is-looking-at-jws-on-the-net-wahoo.

Doubting Bro

OM - that's terrific and I must add that I'm a bit jealous!!

Mrs OM - welcome. Waking up can be a little overwhelming at first but it does get better.